Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
