Whats the glycemic index on semen?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
