Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she looked like the before picture.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
