whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
