When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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