the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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