i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
