well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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