Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
