this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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