Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
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Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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