with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
