will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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