I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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