It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
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He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
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I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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