It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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