i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
