you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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