Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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