I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I fill condoms, not promises.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
