Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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