I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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