I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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