get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
