Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
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