just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
