you're like a bully in the Christmas story
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
