My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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