that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
