I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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