i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
