You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
