the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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