Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
where does the pee come out of this thing
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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