spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
