Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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