look no pants
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
