Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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