it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize