I wanna bring you to show and tell
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
