Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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