So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
