dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
