you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
