I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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