so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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