i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
