I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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