And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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