I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
