summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
