all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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