Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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