I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize