My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We are two peas in an std pod
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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