Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How naked do you want me to be?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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