whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
