u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
