at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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