No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
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What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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