He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
